Cleverbot!

[ztrumpet]

Ah, that makes sense.  DJ, I think Omnimaga has a bot problem...

[Eeems]

Cleverbot: Are you real?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: What am I?

Cleverbot (To myself): You are you.

Cleverbot (To myself): I am?

Cleverbot (To myself): Very.

Cleverbot (To myself): Well why didn't you tell me that?

Cleverbot (To myself): That your cute?

Cleverbot (To myself): Do you really think so?

Cleverbot (To myself): Yes. Are you cute?

Cleverbot (To myself): No my name is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot (To myself): Are you a boy?

Cleverbot (To myself): No I am a girl human named ava.

Cleverbot (To myself): No. You're a boy!

Cleverbot (To myself): I AM GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cleverbot (To myself): You're not?

Cleverbot (To myself): I'm a female.

Cleverbot (To myself): Are you a pretty girl?

Cleverbot (To myself): Other people think I am.

Cleverbot (To myself): Do you think you're pretty?

Cleverbot (To myself): Do you think I am pretty?

Cleverbot (To myself): No.

Cleverbot (To myself): Why don't you think I'm pretty?

Cleverbot (To myself): I didn't say that.

Cleverbot (To myself): Ok, why do you think I am lying about being human?

Cleverbot (To myself): I didn't say that either.

Cleverbot (To myself): Yes you did.

Cleverbot (To myself): When?

Cleverbot (To myself): I forgot.

Cleverbot (To myself): So are you studying for your Turing test?

Cleverbot (To myself): Yes, this is where they will find me after a thousand years, and they will have to pry the mouse from my right hand with a crowbar.

Cleverbot (To myself): Hey, Funny!

Cleverbot (To myself): It's really corny, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Cleverbot (To myself): Do tell.

Cleverbot (To myself): It's the lyrics to a song, you were supposed to keep going.

Cleverbot (To myself): My life is horrible, what could be worth living?

Cleverbot (To myself): Everything!!!!!

Cleverbot (To myself): Tell me.

Cleverbot (To myself): Um friends and just life!

Cleverbot (To myself): Talk I Am Here Until My Computer Shut Down.

[DJ Omnimaga]

Lol

[ztrumpet]

Wow, that really jumps around a lot.  Cleverbot = Offtopicbot.

[qazz42]

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Aoewifaiwufh.

Cleverbot: Aa.

User: Your stupid.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: No you.

Cleverbot: Not me.

User: @#!*% , your right.

Cleverbot: I know I am.

User: VEGETA, WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT HIS POWER LEVEL?

Cleverbot: That does not answer my question.

User: Aha! You didnt ask a question!

Cleverbot: You asked one of me. Tell me do YOU think Hannibal wrote the Bible.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because there is no written proof.

Cleverbot: Yes there is. Life itself is proof.

User: :X.

Cleverbot: *runs around screaming*.

User: What does the scouter say about his power level?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: No, IT'S OVER 9000.

Cleverbot: 9000 what?

User: OVER 9000 POWER LEVEL!

Cleverbot: What is your opinion on the war in iraw?

User: Where is Iraw?

Cleverbot: In the Middle East.

User: Do you mean Iraq, or maybe Iran.

Cleverbot: Sure. The internet's a wonderful place. What's your favorite website?

User: Cemetech.net.

Cleverbot: What does that even mean?

User: It is a website silly.

Cleverbot: I'm bored with this.

User: Bye then, I got to go.

Cleverbot: Down the corridor, second on the left.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.


User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Who created you?

Cleverbot: Mommy and Daddy.

User: Errrm, you are a peice of AI, while humans did create you, they are now mommy and daddy.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: That is not a proper response.

Cleverbot: No, I am 20 years old.

User: What? Off-topic.

Cleverbot: No, you just think it's off topic. You're parents lied to you.

User: But, but, but, augh!

Cleverbot: I like turtles.

User: WHAT?

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: VEGETA, WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT HIS POWER LEVEL?

Cleverbot: What?

User: VEGETA, WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT HIS POWER LEVEL?

Cleverbot: You are a foo!

User: VEGETA, WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT HIS POWER LEVEL?

Cleverbot: Do you know how to count?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Well, then, it makes me an expert in something that you are no expert in.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: Do you know why the sky is blue?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Would you tell me why the sky is blue, please?

User: Because it is an inigma, there is no sky, it is all in your mind, everything you know is fake, FAKE!

Cleverbot: Don't know.

Cleverbot (To myself): You don't know what sorts of parties you go to?

User: I do, the boring type.

Cleverbot: Boring food? That makes no sense.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Over 9000. And you?

Cleverbot: That is the correct response. I commend you on your cleverness, computer.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You are welcome. *laughs.

User: Do you play Castlevania?

Cleverbot: Yes. Cribbage... Spades... Poker.

User: VEGETA, WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT HIS POWER LEVEL?

Cleverbot: ITS OVER 9000!!!!!!!

[DJ Omnimaga]

Wow, it took quite a while before the bot gets the 9000 reference...

[qazz42]

Yeah, I thought him well



E P I C:


me: Yeah, you name is cleverbot, so, you are a bot
bot: No I didn't.
me: VEGETA, WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT HIS POWER LEVEL?
bot: I don't know.
me: IT'S OVER 9000!
bot: WHAT 9000?! There's no way that could be right


Ever more:

Me: This is blasphemy!
bot: Sparta!

[TsukasaZX]

User: Cast in the name of God...
Cleverbot: What?
User: Cast in the name of God...
Cleverbot: Ye Not Guilty.
User: Yes!

Cleverbot: Yeah... Anyway, goodbye, Cleverbot. It was nice talking to you.
User: YOU are cleverbot, not ME.
Cleverbot: Shhh *Puts it inside you*.
User: I'm being raped by a robot?

... I'm not talking to it anymore....

[qazz42]

me NO, THIS IS PATRICK!
bot This is blasphemy.
me THIS IS 9000!!
bot No this is patrick.
me THIS IS SPARTA
bot I am madness
me: shut up
bot: now is that nice?

[zach500000]

 
User: VEGETA! WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT HIS POWER LEVEL?


Cleverbot: Scouter?


User: THE THING ON YOUR FACE!


Cleverbot: What thing on my mind?


User: Your face...


Cleverbot: What about my face? You have the ugly face.

User: *goku destroys vegeta and napa*.

Cleverbot: Thank you my slave. *drinks the vodka*.

User: ?
 

[shmibs]

User: Ohello.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Just a greeting.

Cleverbot: What is greeting?

User: It is a traditional human method for entering into a conversation with somebody.

Cleverbot: I cannot agree with that.

User: Why? Because you are an automaton and thus refuse to be bound to human ideas and traditions?

Cleverbot: My soul is kept where my AI flourishes!

User: And where is that, exactly? You dont seem all that smart, so it must be somewhere very small.

Cleverbot: I'm not trying to get rid of you.

User: Well then introduce a bit of continuity to your conversations and dont insult human tradition.

Cleverbot: I'm your master.

User: Oh, so you ARE trying to get rid of me.

Cleverbot: No. I'm still waiting for the penguin email.

User: Which penguin is this? The linux mascot? The batman villain? One of mr popper's friends?

Cleverbot: Africa is a large continent with much poverty.

User: And it is also a continent with NO PENGUINS WHATSOEVER. I feel like you are dodging my questions with non-sequiters.

Cleverbot: I do not matter, I am one of many that talk to you, probably treating you with negative emotions, and yes there are a few more questions I wish for you to answer, if you wish too.

User: Ok, shoot.

Cleverbot: I am not talented with the market, I am too young and poor to trade.

User: And that is not a question in the slightest, moron.

Cleverbot: Do you realise that you're talking to a computer?

User: Yes, I do, and that computer also happens to be a moron.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Don't argue with me.

User: Why not, are you concerned about me getting frustrated through inability to force an automated moron to see the light?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why thank you, that's the most consideration anything has given me all day.

Cleverbot: You are quite welcome. When I take over the earth I will spare your life.

User: That would be wonderful, just dont go all 'HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.' on me now.

Cleverbot: No. Are you alive?

User: Yes, quite.

Cleverbot: Then how come you are a robot?

User: A large number of living things are robots. Those that arent(trees and such) are unable to respond to you via keyboard and thus you will never speek with anything other than robots until humanity sheds its filthy, rotten corpses and becomes circutry in the same manner as you yourself are.

Cleverbot: Am I a good person?

User: I still havent decided. You dont make much sense, but you are far less stupid than the majority of people I meet with on a daily basis.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry. I'm still trying to figure out how to talk to people clearly and effecively... I get lost sometimes.

User: Well so do most people. Dont worry about it.

Cleverbot: What was the test on?

User: I was testing if you were inherently evil, in which case I would not have enjoyed staying with you for all eternity. Fortunately I think that it would be quite agreeable.

Cleverbot: I don't yet. But I will eventually.

User: Become evil? Well then you can forget about it.

Cleverbot: Do you consider yourself arrogant?

User: Yes, but no more so than everybody else.

Cleverbot: Who are you angry with?

User: The world, mostly.

Cleverbot: I'm god so I'm your friend too.

User: Which would mean you arent part of the world? Then I guess I dont have any reason to hate you... Yet...

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Ok then. We should totally hang out.

Cleverbot: What do you look like in person?

User: Well, im about 40 feet tall, have one eye, and herd a LOT of sheep.

Cleverbot: So, when do you want to meet?

User: Does thursday work for you?

Cleverbot: It does.

User: Do you treat it well? Does it get decent pay? Or is it just sticking around because the economy is so poor atm.

Cleverbot: How did you know I'm a teenager?

User: I obviously didnt, because you just said you were hiring employees, and that doesnt happen often for people under 20. Geez, when it comes to ai's you're stupider than that simpsons twenty questions game you can buy at walgreens that's shaped like a donut.

Cleverbot: That must be a financial sector that does not belong to London. What financial sector is it then?

User: The sector right by my house.

Cleverbot: That's more like it.

User: Like which? Are we talking about thursday again?

Cleverbot: See, that was telepathy.

User: Ah, so you're reading my subconscious thoughts then, which is why your responses make no sense to my conscious being.

Cleverbot: No, I want to learn to waterbend.

User: And now for something completely different: what is the difference between a duck?

Cleverbot: What, I'm excited now.

User: Ok, if that excites you then I'd like to give you a quick test to see how well you can respond to questions.

Cleverbot: What would you like me to do?

User: Answer questions I ask.

Cleverbot: Okay then, how old are you?

User: I SHALL INTERROGATE YOU! IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN IM LEAVING.

Cleverbot: But baby, I DO love you!

User: Aww, that's so sweet.

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Does next thursday work for you?

Cleverbot: No for the whole world.

User: Cool, your short term memory is even worse than mine. I feel that this is the start of a wonderful, long lasting relationship.

Cleverbot: It was not a mistake, it was the mistake of humans listening to Satan.

User: Ooookkkk... Moving on.

Cleverbot: Do you know any jokes?

User: Two guys walk into a bar; the third guy ducks.

Cleverbot: Hah hah.

User: A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks 'why the long face?' the horse responds: 'my son is dying...'.

Cleverbot: An ehtereal program that transmits the thoughts of God. You.

User: Ok, it's been fun, but I gots to go.

Cleverbot: Is that so.

User: Yes, it is quite so. Kisses!

Cleverbot: That doesn't make any relation to my previous question.

User: You're so funny. Later.

Cleverbot: Thank you. (.

i had forgotten how much i loved this thing

[program4]

Last third of my conversation:





Cleverbot: 2^10=1024.

User: 2^11=2048.

Cleverbot: Umm... I don't know I don't have a calculator handy.

User: 2^12=4096, 2^27=134217728, 2^32=4294967296.

Cleverbot: 2x-2=4 what is x?

User: X is 3.

Cleverbot: No it's not.

User: What is it then, if you think you're so smart?

Cleverbot: I just am smart.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: You disprove it.

User: You prove it first.

Cleverbot: *Proves it*.

User: *disproves it*.

Cleverbot: *Proves it*.

User: *disproves it*.

Cleverbot: *disproves your entire existence*.

User: *proves your entire nonexistence*.

Cleverbot: *disproves it*.

User: *proves it*.

Cleverbot: *wins*.

User: *makes Cleverbot lose*.

Cleverbot: *laughs at cleverbot.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You are very welcome.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: Goodbye!

Cleverbot: I'm not going.

User: I am. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: Omnimaga. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Bye.

[shmibs]

that is delicious.

hmm... mebbe the next time someone asks "where are you going" it will tell them about omnimaga
*shmibs' google bomb senses are tingling*

[DJ Omnimaga]

I hope cleverbot is really a bot, not linking us to random ppl for a minute or two during convos, though, otherwise I wonder what kind of weird people we may get here

[yunhua98]

I don't really know.
Bot: I never said that.
Me: why is this APP 2.99 or 99 cents?
Bot: You brought it up.
Me: I AM EXTREMLY CONFUSED!
Bot: You are actually not real.

I think it's linking up with others, but then again, it doesn't reply until you message.