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Offline Spellshaper

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a story with no title yet...
« on: July 01, 2006, 12:21:00 pm »
After reading Jc's awesome story :wub:wub.gif and getting a wopping amount of ZERO comments on this on a NGE forum I decided to show you the piece of work that is currently sucking in the time I should probably spend on progging BM...

Information:
This is part1 of a NGE fanfiction, starting at the 22th episode of the series. I always had a problem with Asuka's mind geting utterly destroyed there, so this is going to end different, of course.

?Orly?? = talking
?omg? = thoughts
*** = scene change

Comments are good. In fact, getting comments is what keeps my creative part (ugh) alive.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Part1: The stage is set

It was not as if she was going to give up now. She just had to clarify some things. It was not fault that her sync scores were sinking... But that albino robot, Rei, had stirred up something in her she had chosen to forget long ago. And and evangelion couldn?t really be a conscious being! Nonsense! But something kept nagging at her... That?s why she chose not to go home immediately after the sync test. She had to pay someone a little visit...

?You are my puppet. You have to do what I tell you to do.?

No answer.

?Why does a weapon need a heart?  It only interferes...?

...

?The most important thing is you don?t contradict my orders.?

The red behemoth did not even blink.

?...Why am I even talking to this oversized doll?? she scolded herself. ?Stupid.?

***


Arael, angel of bird. A glowing, winged sphere, slowly making its way across the sky. Up there, the world was silent, as there was no air to transport the sensations of sound. A treacherous silence filled the void...

Far below, in Neo-Tokyo-3, the sirens screeched.


***


Asuka gasped as she heard the alarm go off and the EVA cage was bathed in the unwholesome red of the emergency lights.

?An angel? Now?? she asked to noone in particular, her voice betraying her worries.

The soul within EVA-02 regarded the teen in silence... Though she knew what event was to befall her daughter, she could not risk the scenario by interfering. She would have to be content with the fact that she would live over it... eventually. Too much was at stake...


***


The command center was in total disarray.
The angel had appeared outof nowhere and without any warning at all. The last angel that had attacked from orbit was only stopped because of some spur-of-the-moment patchworking. So it was that the personnel was trying to man their posts as fast as possible, shouting information back and forth and busily ingoring the soaring alarm. Misato had all the trouble in the world to get them back under control. After the dust had settled a bit, she walked over to the bridge crew.

?Hey. What?s the status of the target?? she inquired from her old friend Ritsuko, who, despite the chaos, took calm sips of her coffee.

?Altitude is stable, it?s slowly advancing towards our position. MAGI has confirmed a blue pattern. It is the fifthteenth angel.? She said while turning around to face her.

?Any idea where it came from??

?Ritsuko paused long enough to lift the cup to her lips again. ?We don?t know. Two minutes ago, it just appeared on the radar.?

?Any tactical information that could prove useful??

?Well, it has a very strong AT-field, doesn?t seem to be in a hurry, gives off a bright glow we don?t know the purpose of...? as a loud beep emitted from the speakers, she stopped to look back at the screen., ?...and just managed to destroy our observation satellites.?

?If it?s starting to drop bombs like the 10th we are in a bit of trouble... EVA-01 is suspendend and Asuka?s sync scores are not in good shape.? Misato thought out aloud. ?What?s the children?s current postitions??

?First and Second children are already in the EVA-cages and almost ready for launch. The Third children is on its way.?  The blonde technican refilled her coffee cup.

?You know, sometimes I wonder if you ever let go of that thing.?

?Huh?? Risuko followed Misato?s gaze to the steaming cup she was holding. ?Oh. I seldom let go of old friends? They are hard to come by.? She smiled at the purple-haired woman.

Misato was surprisd at the sudden show of affection, managed to splutter a ?Why, thanks.? and smiled back.

A com window opened on the great monitor.

?EVA-00, reporting in.?

As if in answer, a second and then a third panel opened.

?EVA-02 is ready for launch.? Asuka was saying. Her face was unreadable. Shinji did not say anything, but simply waited for orders.

?EVA-00, start! Ready for long-range fire with the positron cannon. Nigoki will cover you.?

?ME, back up? For zerogoki??

?Hai. You will stay in the background.?

?Stop making fun already, Misato. EVA-02, launch!?

Misato sighed as the launch pad lifted EVA-02 toward the surface. ?Ok. Let her do this. Asuka, I?m counting on you.?

?If she fails now, it will be her end.? Ritsuko informed the major.

Maya half-turned in her seat to face her sempai. ?A last chance??

?I will think about her replacement.? She told her.

?Hai.? Maya frowned, asking herself if they could afford deliberately risking a pilot in this manner? Ritsuko seemed not particularly concerned?

?Is EVA-01 not to be used?? Hyuga was surprised. After all, EVA-01 had slain the bulk of the angels so far.

?Suspended until further notice. An order from commander Ikari.? Misato answered as short as possible. ?No wonder, after what happened last time.?


***


It was raining.
It was a rich rain, dampening the soil of the countryside that surrounded Neo-Tokyo-3.
And where before she could feel the drops as they burst against her EVA unit, there was only a sense of wetness. Where before her EVA had felt like an extension of her own body, fluidly transcribing her thoughts into movement and relaying back to her every tiny sensation, it now felt cold and unwieldy, almost as if it was evade being controlled. Now, even her sheer will was barely enough to get the red behemoth to move.

?If I fail now, I am as good as dead. Asuka, this is no time for blunders.? She told herself.

Even though the dark clouds obscured the sky, she could see the outline of the angel displayed into her infrared visor as she gripped the positron cannon that had been transferred to the surface moments after her arrival and mentally braced herself for the coming fight.

?I don?t need any backup.? She thought as she glanced back over her shoulder at EVA-00, the evangelion as passive as its pilot.

The com window opened and Asuka looked into the face of a nervous mayor. ?Wait until the target comes into striking distance, do not advance. Use your visor to estimate the distance, then fire. A few shots will hopefully be enough to penetrate the AT-field. Good luck.?

?Geez. Come here already? I?m sick of waiting!? she repeated those thoughts several times during the next few minutes while waiting for her prey to come. Her nervousness rose with each passing second, minutes dragged by with an slowness so agonizing that it was close to physical pain.

One can endure so much pressure only for so much time. Finally driven over the edge when the angel seemed to prolong hovering just outside the striking range, she raised her voice to a half-shout:

?Damn! I?m sick of waiting! Let?s get this over with!?

A brilliant light suddenly filled the entry plug.
She gasped in surprise.
An instant later, fear replaced the feeling of surprise when she felt an alien presence touch her mind.

?NOOO!? Her fingers tightened around the weapon and she pulled the trigger?


***

Misato watched the ball of energy first describe a high curve with its peak directly beneath the target and then the light of the high-velocity ammunition disperse, even as she heard the Second Child?s curses and cries.

?Positron extinct.? Was Ritsuko?s professional comment on that.

?Whatever this thing is doing, time is essential now.? Misato thought. ?What is this beam??

EVA-02 began to cringe, but did not change its position. Asuka was obviously in pain.

?MAGI is not sure, but it has similarities with an AT-field. Asuka?s psychograph is becoming unstable!?

?Does it want to explore the human psyche?? ?None of them tried to do that before. But then, they all acted differently.?

Asuka screamed and fired round after round, showering her surroundings with explosions that made even the command center shake until her clip was empty. Misato?s eyes narrowed.

?No. Destroy is more likely.?

She brought her hand down on the com button.

?Asuka, retreat!?

Though her voice sounded shaken and rough, Asuka answered firmly.

?NO, I will NOT! I will not fail!?

A pair of glasses flashed. ?Rei, get the Loginus Lance.?

***


Shinji had let the com channel open, just in case. So it was that he could not help himself but overhear the conversation.

?EVA-01 is not to be used. Father will not allow it.? He told himself.

?So, will you risk all their lives by choosing to run away again??

?I would only make it worse. I can?t help anybody. All I can do is hurt and destroy.?

?Then why did you return during the 14th angel?s attack??

?Kaji talked me into doing it.?

?At that point, you already were decided. No, all you needed was encouragement.?

?I was desperate. I had nothing to lose.?

?And why is that? What could have shattered all your restrains??

???

?Don?t pretend you don?t know. I see what you see. I fear what you fear. I know what you know. Yet, I am more? reserved, if you wish to put it that way. Now what will it be? Running or living??

?That?s a cruel choice to make. I don?t want to try to help and then fail again.?

The voice in his mind sounded amused. ?Then simply don?t. You have the power to do what has to be done, but you need a reason. Time is running out.?

?I will do it.?

?Very well. We shall continue this discussion later.?

The air vibrated as Unit-01 went active, eyes glowing a blazing white.

Offline DJ Omnimaga

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a story with no title yet...
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2007, 08:54:00 pm »
Quite nice, altough I cannot really judge since I am not too good myself at writing storylines and I don't watch much anime anymore. I wonder if a story like NGE could be adapted to a calc RPG?

Offline trevmeister66

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« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2007, 02:24:00 am »
Very good, I like it. I have to agree with DJ, that'd be a pretty tight RPG.
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« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2007, 01:54:00 pm »
never watched my NGE :(sad.gif duno much about it.

pretty nice though.

Offline TIfanx1999

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« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2007, 02:52:00 pm »
NGE (the anime) was probally one of the most dissapointing animes I have ever seen. It was great until the last couple episodes where I guess the writers ran out of ideas and decided to make an ending that was toatlly random and WAAayyy out there. I hear that angelic days is pretty good though.(it is the actual story of the alternate reality that shinji envisioned from what i have heard) Fan fic doesn't look half bad thought :)smile.gif hope it has a better ending than the animu :Ptongue.gif.

Offline DJ Omnimaga

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« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2007, 03:23:00 pm »
apparently near the end the author became depressed and decided to do an ending that is kinda more emotional. While that could have been done and be nice, he totally screwed it up and it didn't made any sense with the rest of the anime storyline. THis is why some people usually watch the animes until the 4-5 last ones and stop here

oh well, I guess that depression can really screw up things when it strikes x.x

EDIT: And I just noticed the first post date. That must have been the longest accidental necropost I ever did so far O_Oshocked2.gif

Offline simplethinker

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« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2007, 05:04:00 pm »
If it was that long ago, how did you find this?  And that might also be why Spellshaper has responded yet.
You have me laughing my *** off when I'm supposed to be finishing an essay and my mom in the other room.  :lmao:ptdr.gif

Back on topic.  The story is nice.  I've only seen NGE on cartoon network with the crappy dubs so I thought they didn't either didn't buy the license to the whole series or made the ending up.  
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Offline DJ Omnimaga

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« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2007, 05:11:00 pm »
somehow I was checking find all topic by members for spellshaper and it showed up but i didn,t noticed the post year

Offline trevmeister66

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« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2007, 05:17:00 pm »
haha wow I didn't notice that either.. It still very good though, but I wonder if Spelli's even working on this anymore.
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Offline Spellshaper

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« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2007, 08:38:00 pm »
woa quite some necroposting here...
it's still in my drawer, chapter 2 is done, no.3 is half-finished. :alien:alien2.gif
as with all other stuff, rl gets in the way waaaaay too often <_<dry.gif
If you're interested, I can upload chapter 2 when I get back to germany in January.
though I personally think my writing style is still kinda crude and rudimentary...

QuoteBegin-art_of_camelot+-->
QUOTE (art_of_camelot)

NGE (the anime) was probally one of the most dissapointing animes I have ever seen. It was great until the last couple episodes where I guess the writers ran out of ideas and decided to make an ending that was toatlly random and WAAayyy out there.

actually, the ending was meant that way; but the project ran out of money and time. that's why there are some still images in there.
The NGE movie was created by Anno Hidekai afterwards, upon non-ending requests by the fans to put a real ending to the story. The movie has the same ending as the anime, but focuses more on what's happening in reality (including all the dying :knight:knight3.gif ) in contrast to what's happening in the minds of the characters.

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« Reply #10 on: November 26, 2007, 11:31:00 am »
geez, sorry for not posting earlier i guess.  it is pretty good.

Offline TIfanx1999

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« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2007, 05:43:00 am »
I didn't see the movie cause i heard it made less sense than the anime ending lol. Ah well I understand what the authour was trying to do with the ending but i wish they hadn't gone that route. It just didnt turn out well and came off as being inconsistent with the rest of the series IMO. I guess it is what it is. Any ho... back on necro topic. You gonna write any more to this?

Offline Spellshaper

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« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2007, 03:45:00 am »
QuoteBegin-art_of_camelot+-->
QUOTE (art_of_camelot)
You gonna write any more to this?


QuoteBegin-Spellshaper+
-->
QUOTE (Spellshaper)
It's still in my drawer, chapter 2 is done, no.3 is half-finished.

nuff said? ;)wink.gif
I am actually writing on chapter 3 right now. I may not have my papers here in the philippines, but I remember most of the important stuff.
And currently redownloading episodes 18-22 to get a better grip on staying in-character...

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« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2007, 04:34:00 pm »
Kewl sounds good. :haha:laugh.gif