Omnimaga
General Discussion => Other Discussions => Humour and Jokes => Topic started by: Deep Toaster on November 14, 2010, 12:00:23 pm
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1: It should block all third-party assembly programs.
2: It should feature mathprint with easter-egg glitches.
3: It should include a few hundred BASIC commands no one uses, but definitely not GetKey.
4: It should add a bunch of really useful routines, then keep them from the public at all costs.
5: It should corrupt a random file every once in a while to keep things interesting.
EDIT: DEEP THOUGHT HAZ $@ INTERNETZ! W00T!
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6: It should block its own assembly programs
7: It should feature a CAS that is actually WFRNG in disguise
8: Syntax error messages should redirect to textrolls
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9: Connection to other calcs will be almost none on longer cords that you buy from ti.
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10: coffee.
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10: coffee.
come on be serious.... decaf coffee
11. A female voice that will talk to you from the I/0 port
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...
Err...
I'm just going to leave this topic alone :P
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D: Poor SirCmpwn D:
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I agree with 8, 10, and 11.
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12: An RSA signed Operating system so that once you've switched, you can't go back.
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You can't do that, actually ;)
13: It takes >9000 steps just to do something simple, like add 1 and 1.
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TI has made pretty big strides in that area, though :P
14: force the user to input all math commands in Reverse polish notation.
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15. all programs are deleted upon turning off the calculator.
16. the LCD refreshes at a maximum rate of 3 FPS.
17. only a 32x32 chunk of the LCD is used. the rest is "unnecessary"
18. an 8x8 sized Font is used, making 16 the maximum number of characters displayable. there is no small font.
19. all programs are written in KBasic. KBasic commands include:
-statistic regressions
-addition, subtraction.
- and that is all.
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20: Invite ScoutDavid to make the OS alone from scratch in two days, would be epic.
21: Have an application called 'The Game' that crashed the calculator.
(now this is serious)Make a loading screen with a knight fighting a dragon =O
EDIT: The others are just as serious, sorry
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TI has made pretty big strides in that area, though :P
14: force the user to input all math commands in Reverse polish notation.
Even worse.... Reverse polish sausage (http://xkcd.com/645/)
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22: obliterate a good chunk of the memory and call it a feature
Can someone explain the reverse polish sausage thing?
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22: obliterate a good chunk of the memory and call it a feature
Can someone explain the reverse polish sausage thing?
http://www.explainxkcd.com/2009/10/05/rps/ (http://www.explainxkcd.com/2009/10/05/rps/)
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Who else didn't have any idea what Reverse Polish Notation was until reading xkcd?
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(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/rps.png)
Hm....
Sir, I hope you read the 'serious' one I posted, really cool!
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I've known about it ever since I used Cabamap (http://www.ticalc.org/archives/files/fileinfo/323/32326.html) :)
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The linking process, when it works, should be very user-unfriendly
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23: get help from TI
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24: It should have layers of protections blocking OS transfers (besides newer versions with more sophisticated blocking, of course).
25: It should keep all the useful routines undocumented.
26: It should come as a "trial version" and ask for payment after the first 7 days.
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24: It should have layers of protections blocking OS transfers (besides newer versions with more sophisticated blocking, of course).
25: It should keep all the useful routines undocumented.
26: It should come as a "trial version" and ask for payment every first 7 days.
Fixed. :P
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24: It should have layers of protections blocking OS transfers (besides newer versions with more sophisticated blocking, of course).
27: It should do everything possible to prevent the installation of new OSes, but it should have at least a hundred backdoors for virii.
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28: hhaaavvveee qqqqqquuuiickkkkk kkkkkeeeeyyyyy rrrrrreeeepppppeeeeeaaaaatttt.....
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29. Add support for bluescale, and use it extensively for graphics.
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30. Bribe TI to preload KOS onto its own calcs. ;)
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31: Start up says "what should I do?"
32: Have Big Daddy's Meth House game preinstalled
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33: Ignore the labels on the keys. You're awesome enough to make another layout, with random keys where they most obviously make sense (I mean, why is that GRAPH? It should clearly be xtΘn!).
34: Better yet, have the key codes change every time the calculator is turned off.
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35: Reprogram all of the keys to switch with each other, and as soon as the calc thinks you might have figured it out, switch again.
36: Have a message that pops up every 2.5 seconds when you have a low battery, and if you don't hit okay followed by a 27 digit key code to close it, the calc will auto-lock itself by doing di/halt and then waiting until you re-install the batteries.
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37: have it automatically do this (http://www.ticalc.org/archives/news/articles/14/141/141904.html)
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38. Have it take up 2/3 of the flash memory.
39. In subsequent updates, remove features, while blocking downgrading.
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Okay, I have 24, 25, 26, 33, and 38 done. I'll get to the rest later.
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Okay, I have 20, 21, 26, 33, and 38 done. I'll get to the rest later.
you're kidding about 26, right? :o :P
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40. The opcode at $0053 is HALT.
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41. The LCD screen can only be written to once per program.
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42: Pressing DEL deletes the RAM.
43: Pressing the CLEAR button clears both the RAM and the Archives.
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Aiie!
Oh wait Randomness :P
44: Running a TI-Basic program in the KBasic editor will display a rickroll
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45. Who needs programming when you can be rickrolled?
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46: Each time the calculator is turned on, both the RAM and the archive memory should be cleared, giving users a "clean start" every time.
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46: Each time the calculator is turned on, both the RAM and the archive memory should be cleared, giving users a "clean start" every time.
Some older calculators were like this. You turn it off, say goodbye to your data :P (Though most of these models were just for calculations)
47. Every number should be displayed in octal (base 8). Who uses decimal/hexadecimal anyway? ;D
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Okay, I have 24, 25, 26, 33, and 38 done. I'll get to the rest later.
you're kidding about 26, right? :o :P
Well, TI is making us pay $89.98 for the TI-83+ OS and $0.01 for the hardware, so if Sir charged $7, it would be much better than what TI charges for the TI-OS. :P
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Okay, I have 24, 25, 26, 33, and 38 done. I'll get to the rest later.
you're kidding about 26, right? :o :P
Well, TI is making us pay $89.98 for the TI-83+ OS and $0.01 for the hardware, so if Sir charged $7, it would be much better than what TI charges for the TI-OS. :P
Depends...
If he meant the original 26, that'd be true, but if he meant my modified version, you'd be paying every week or so.
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48. It would randomly erase the OS (i.e. itself)
(I don't know if this has been said yet.)
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Umm....can a mod go and fix the numbering? it got off on page 1. :P
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49: A randomly selected and shifting button that launches the BLOD.
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Umm....can a mod go and fix the numbering? it got off on page 1. :P
Done :)
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50: It can't be turned off until the battery drains. After which it hibernates and curses the **** sh* out of you m*thf*k newbss for not turning it off in time
51: It should stab you to death with a virtual sword if you make a syntax error.
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52: Make KDE the default desktop environment, and have it automatically launch all installed desktop gadgets on startup.
53: GRAPH breaks the calc in half
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53: Pressing Y= gives you a rickroll
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54 when you get a syntax error, the message "?sruoy wollof ti dluohs yhw ,egaugnal s'rotaluclac a wollof t'nac uoy fI .rorrE xatnyS " appears
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lol :P
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52: Make KDE the default desktop environment, and have it automatically launch all installed desktop gadgets on startup.
53: GRAPH breaks the calc in half
Lol, KDE XD
55: Each time the user turns the calculator on, the OS should prompt for a password that changes according to a pattern detailed in the readme. If the password is wrong, the calculator automatically resets all variables and overwrites the entire flash memory. So RTFM, you n00bs.
56: Certain equations, when graphed, should produce a dancing Rick Astley. Plugging in a headphone causes it to play this song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxEciAcewEE).
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57. The calc should automatically turn on in "TI-80" mode. The normal mode can only be unlocked by entering the lyrics to a certain song in binary.
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58: Turning the calc on will make you lose the game
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59: All numbers have to be entered in RPGCN (Reverse Polish Gray Code Notation).
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60: a carrot jammed in at address $9D95
EDIT: and a lobster at $BFFF
EDIT: and a sushi at $0061
EDIT: and a pyyrix 1.0 in flash page 5F
EDIT: and my drags from dragcave.net in the back buffer
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61. Whenever you edit a program, there should be a 6.66 percent chance that the program is replaced by a broken quadratic solver. In grayscale. With 3d graphics.
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62. The other 93.34% of the time, it turns into a textroll
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63: Except for the times when KOS miscounts.
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40h: The default base for calculations is base e.
EDIT: You're addicted to calcs and omni when you're glad that you got #64.
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65: 9001-level grayscale.
66: Startup screen that uses the contrast change trick to display a blue lobster.
67: OneNote.
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41h: One-quarter to one-half of all memory should be permanently reserved for OS usage. Furthermore, one-quarter to one-half of that reserved memory should be unused, but never exist in contiguous blocks longer than 768 bytes.
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Remember guys: this thread is intended to make KOS slightly less great than the TI-OS. It's gonna be a very hard challenge to achieve this.
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DrDnar, ninja'd :)
40h: The default base for calculations is base e.
EDIT: You're addicted to calcs and omni when you're glad that you got #64.
69: The base should change randomly according to the last results from the WFRNG.
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70: It should only display part of-
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Nice.
71: Pressing ON while holding all four arrow keys as well as 2nd and ALPHA should be the normal way to turn on the calculator. Any other combination should automatically enable push-to-test.
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72. The only way to get out of PTT is to microwave the calculator.
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73: It should have built-in microwave link software.
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74. The only way to update the OS is to place it inside a jailbroken microwave.
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75: No matter the model of calculator used, it should slow down the calculator to 1.249 MHz when run.
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Why not 9.001 khz?
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9.001 Hz.
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9.001 khz is over 9000 hz.
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Yeah, but 9.001 Hz is better.
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but 9.001 KHz is over 9000 Hz
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Like if the TI-80 wasn't slow enough D:
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76: The calculator should have OS sound support... but only for Lobster mating calls.
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77. It should use a hard-to-read font (Chinese characters for English letters and numbers. In a 4*6 font)
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77. It should use a hard-to-read font (Chinese characters for English letters and numbers. In a 4*6 font)
78: As an alternative, it should come with Papyrus. In 3x5 font.
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77. It should use a hard-to-read font (Chinese characters for English letters and numbers. In a 4*6 font)
78: As an alternative, it should come with Papyrus. In 3x5 font.
79: However, programs are only allowed to use Webdings.
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80: Unless they have the 6 page language app on their calculators.
81: The language app only allows programs to use Greek letters.
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82: A page is now approximately 1 MB in size.
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83. All programs are a multiple of 16KiB in size.