Omnimaga
General Discussion => Other Discussions => Humour and Jokes => Topic started by: Munchor on December 28, 2010, 06:05:59 pm
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1. Make him make binary Raycaster;
2. Force him to use Visual Basic during all of his life;
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NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
:w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:
3) Make him/her play typing games for at least 6 hours a day
4) Chain him/her to a chair right in front of a fully loaded desktop
5) give him/her a computer with no internet, and the only thing on it is Dora the Explorer videos
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6. Give him/her a calc with 2.53 MP.
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7. Give them a Casio.
8. Make them code spaghetti code.
9. Make them destroy their calc with a hammer.
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5) give him/her a computer with no internet, and the only thing on it is Dora the Explorer videos
*shudders*
10) Tell him he has to program an OS in Java.
EDIT: Raylin just had the gaul to ninja me and then edit my post. ;-)
11) Ninja a programmer and edit his post.
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12) Change the specifications for the Java OS halfway through the project to make the OS pure TI-BASIC.
EDIT: Graph has the audacity to Ninja me and not edit my post [even though he's not staff].
Double Edit: ... and then point it out.
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Qwerty.55: Your number should be 12.
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9. Make them destroy their calc with a hammer.
This is the worst one!
13. Make them use Internet Explorer to play Runescape.
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14. Make them play RuneScape.
Fixed for ya.
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I don't wanna go for how to torture a professional gamer...
15. Make them use Kompozer for HTML/CSS making.
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16. Alternate Qwerty and Dvorak keyboards every 10 minutes
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16. Alternate Qwerty and Dvorak keyboards every 10 minutes
that's ruthless...
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17. Change his/her keyboard layout to
ABCDEFGHIJ
KLMNOPQRS
TUVWXYZ
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* Binder News welcomes erictheorange
18) A never-ending loop of rick-rolls interspersed with text saying "YOU lost The Game" and pictures of lobsters being fried
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19)make them code in bash and only use suicide linux
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19: label 19
20: goto 19
21: give them code with ;understand comment hard
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22: Ask them about their love life
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23: Ashley Tisdale rickroll
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24. Infinit unbreakable loop of Hannah Montana.
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25) have a computer-smashing day!!!!!!!
26) have a calc-smashing day
27) have an Omnimaga-server-smashing day!!! (NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!)
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28. Forget to buy AAA batteries so that she has to take the house apart to find four batteries for her calc.
29. Refuse to at least indulge her by looking at her latest project.
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30: http://jokes.aspcode.net/9912/Bill-Gates-picks-his-own-punishment.aspx
31: Give him an 84+ loaded with OS 2.53MP with the battery case locked.
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32. Make him choose between Internet or Sex NOOOO
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32. Make him choose between Internet or Sex NOOOO
He will definitely choose Internet.
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33. Ctrl+A, Del, Ctrl+S, Alt+F4
Happened to me once, totally freaked out... 36kb file... GONE!
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34. Coding hannah montana's website OH MY GOD NO!!
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35. Coding Rick Astley's Website, and with every preview "Never gonna give you up" plays
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36. Coding a script to hack Omnimaga (NOOO!)
37. Put advertisements in their website to Justin Bieber's fan page. (OMG! DON'T EVER DO THIS TO A PROGRAMMER)
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38. Steal their computer.
Especially don't do this to a hacker. ;-)
(If you've seen a hackaday article about this recently, you know what I'm talking about)
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39: Seceretly hack Wabbitemu so that the calculator shuts down when PC reaches $9D95
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40: You give them a non-hexed number every time.
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41. Make them eat or have human interaction.
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42* break the prgm and apps button on their calc.
/me shudders at 41
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32. Make him choose between Internet or Sex NOOOO
You do realize that if you chose the former, you can have both, right?
42* break the prgm and apps button on their calc.
If those buttons broke, I probably could find a way around that...
43. Download a trojan on their computer for them.
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44. Force them to use their calc for math only
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45: Let them program, but only in Brainf*ck... Ternary Brainf*ck >:D
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46. Make them program in Malbolge (http://www.esolangs.org/wiki/Malbolge)
(You can't, really. You have to pretty much search for a program that does what you want ;D)
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47. Turn the face plate pink.
48. Break the alpha button, the make them program in hex.
49. Drain the back up batteries.
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48. Break the alpha button, the make them program in hex.
They'd never return from that! D:
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50: Force them to read a book that has absolutely nothing to do with computers
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51. watch them while they're programming.
52. ask them what they're programming.
53. tell them it's a waste of time.
54. ask how they learned how to program.
55. ask them what they're programming in. (I once was asked if I was using java on calc :P)
56. pretend you actually know more about calcs than a z80 programmer.
57. Make a calc zelda remake. (NOOOOO NOT AGAIN)
58. tell a programmer that the stuff they made is just downloaded and they're lying
59. pretend you know how to program too.
60. press clear when they're typing a really long line of code like pt-on(X+(sin(A+Y)//L^Z,Y*8-(cos(X-A)**55)^-1, rotc([00FF354892D48C56]>>8 )
61. trying to talka bout calc games and how youre good at phoenix
62. ask how you change the contrast of single pixels to make grayscale
63. ask where they learned to program calcs.
all of these have happened to me. :P
EDIT: and very often too.
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64. Ask them when they are going to release something
65. Insist that they are coding in Assembly when they are coding in C
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66. Make them write programs on a household appliance
67. Make go cold turkey on technology of any sort for a year
68. Make them program an OS in Brainfuck EDIT: The OS has to have a GUI
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56. pretend you actually know more about calcs than a z80 programmer.
Well, what other non-z80 programmer can do Greyscale... in TI-BASIC!
Yes, it's possible. The fact that it's utterly useless is irrelevant ;)
(http://img.removedfromgame.com/imgs/Greyscale.gif)
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I did that with a 6x6 square and it looked fine.
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I did that with a 6x6 square and it looked fine.
What about 6x6x6?
7B: Confuse them.
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Whaaaaaaaaat ? ? ?
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0x46. Have the number wrong in the last way, skipping the number 69 to avoid sexual jokes.
0x47. Make them program in Malboge by hand.
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Err, 71, right?
Tell them to code something in BASIC, then hand them an nspire :P
72: Tell them to code an infinite loop where every available memory address is set to 0
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28. Forget to buy AAA batteries so that she has to take the house apart to find four batteries for her calc.
that happened to me and it was not fun.
73: Hack their pc to take away any ASCII characters and give them a foreign keyboard
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28. Forget to buy AAA batteries so that she has to take the house apart to find four batteries for her calc.
that happened to me and it was not fun.
73: Hack their pc to take away any ASCII characters and give them a foreign keyboard
74: Leave their keyboard, but secretly switch its layout to AZERTY (or QWERTY if you used that before).
EDIT: I actually have a secret stash of tr1p1eas (as well as a rechargeable set I use) so I never run out :D
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75: Make them program with chinese letter
(Erm...How many letters do they have?)
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as many as they have words :P.....
I am taking Japanese.
we have to learn 46 hiragana 46 katakana and 500 Chinese symbols in the 1st year....
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75: Make them program with chinese letter
(Erm...How many letters do they have?)
About 47000 :P
EDIT: Maybe make a full UTF-16 version of BrainF_ck?
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76. Tell them to make a fun, original menu based RPG that doesn't get boring after 15 minutes.
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Wouldn't that be how to make a programmer want to kill you? :P
77:
While 1
Disp "The Game
End
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75: Make them program with chinese letter
(Erm...How many letters do they have?)
About 47000 :P
EDIT: Maybe make a full UTF-16 version of BrainF_ck?
It exists. Chinese Python.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChinesePython
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28. Forget to buy AAA batteries so that she has to take the house apart to find four batteries for her calc.
that happened to me and it was not fun.
73: Hack their pc to take away any ASCII characters and give them a foreign keyboard
74: Leave their keyboard, but secretly switch its layout to AZERTY (or QWERTY if you used that before).
EDIT: I actually have a secret stash of tr1p1eas (as well as a rechargeable set I use) so I never run out :D
You have a stash of <a href="http://www.omnimaga.org/index.php?action=profile;u=5">tr1p1ea</a> clones hidden somewhere? Is that where all your programming expertise comes from? O.O/me imagines hordes of tr1p1ea clones suspended in cryo-stasis in a secret underground research facility.
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28. Forget to buy AAA batteries so that she has to take the house apart to find four batteries for her calc.
that happened to me and it was not fun.
73: Hack their pc to take away any ASCII characters and give them a foreign keyboard
74: Leave their keyboard, but secretly switch its layout to AZERTY (or QWERTY if you used that before).
EDIT: I actually have a secret stash of tr1p1eas (as well as a rechargeable set I use) so I never run out :D
You have a stash of <a href="http://www.omnimaga.org/index.php?action=profile;u=5">tr1p1ea</a> clones hidden somewhere? Is that where all your programming expertise comes from? O.O/me imagines hordes of tr1p1ea clones suspended in cryo-stasis in a secret underground research facility.
He's talking about triple A batteries. :P
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Either way, it's still hilarious.
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78. Make them program a greyscale game using only Ti-basic.
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79 Make them choose either calcs or food.
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They don't need food to survive, unlike with calcs.
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हारे nice one :P
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80: Dont use 1337 spk. ever
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81: tell them to make an unhackable game using onlt basic, and then hack it, telling them to start over.
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82: Petition the government to ban all programming languages except for TI-BASIC, with no variations allowed.
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82: Petition the government to ban all programming languages except for TI-BASIC, with no variations allowed.
XD
83: Make them make a TI-Basic OS.
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82: Petition the government to ban all programming languages except for TI-BASIC, with no variations allowed.
XD
83: Make them make a TI-Basic OS.
84: Make them make a TI-Basic OS *with* a hannah montanah boot logo, and hannah montana/justin beiber skins only. And only make it on calc.
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85: Make this Basic OS *off* calc
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86:use water plank... on their calc...
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87: Give them the Windows 7 Beta (http://xkcd.com/528/).
88: Give them Windows Vista.
89: Give them the TI-OS.
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90: Make them press 'Delete Forum' button of Omnimaga.
91: make them use a touchpad to program!
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92: Make them use padless nspire to program :P
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93: Force them to buy some Apple products, that ought to make a dent in the old wallet
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94. Force them to program a microwave os.
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93: Force them to buy some Apple products, that ought to make a dent in the old wallet
Apparently Mac software's gonna take a huge hit: http://apple.slashdot.org/story/11/01/05/1332212/For-Mac-Developers-Armageddon-Comes-Tomorrow
So maybe it won't be that expensive anymore? :-\
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92: Make them use padless nspire to program :P
85: Give them a Commodore 64 and one way to program... a three position light switch that inputs ternary.
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00111000 00110110 00101110 00100000 01001101 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101101 00100000 01110111 01110010 01101001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101101 01100001 01100011 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01100100 01100101 00101110
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http://xkcd.com/378/
;D