« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: Chuck Norris Jokes  (Read 7014 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline skuller972

  • LV6 Super Member (Next: 500)
  • ******
  • Posts: 335
  • Rating: +11/-4
  • BEAST MODE
    • View Profile
Chuck Norris Jokes
« on: June 14, 2009, 10:01:48 am »
Lets make a list of Chuck Norris jokes! Just copy and paste the last poster's list and add your own.

*start here*

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
If you mispell "Chuck Norris" on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It says "Run while you still have a chance!"
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Logged
Then again, maybe not...
<a href="http://www.nerdtests.com/ft_nt2.php">
<img src="http://www.nerdtests.com/images/badge/nt2/bc7bf8e12353f09e.png" alt="NerdTests.com says I'm a Cool Non-Nerd.  Click here to take the Nerd Test, get nerdy images and jokes, and talk to others on the nerd forum!">
</a>

Offline Eeems

  • Mr. Dictator
  • Administrator
  • LV13 Extreme Addict (Next: 9001)
  • *************
  • Posts: 6265
  • Rating: +318/-36
  • little oof
    • View Profile
    • Eeems
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2009, 03:28:56 pm »
Chuck Norris once shot down an enemy air plane by pointing at it and saying "bang!"
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the world down
Logged
/e

Offline Speler

  • LV8 Addict (Next: 1000)
  • ********
  • Posts: 857
  • Rating: +6/-2
    • View Profile
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2009, 10:03:26 pm »
Not a big fan of these kinds of jokes, but I would like to point out how much more awesome I am then Chuck Norris.  Seriously, I'm the shit.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2009, 10:43:30 pm by Speler »
Logged

Offline tifreak

  • LV11 Super Veteran (Next: 3000)
  • ***********
  • Posts: 2708
  • Rating: +82/-3
  • My Kung Fu IS strong...
    • View Profile
    • TI-Freakware
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2009, 03:00:16 pm »
O o
/¯/________________________________________
| IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZAAAR! BLAAAAAH!!!
\_\¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Logged
Projects: AOD Series: 75% | FFME: 80% | Pokemon: 18% | RPGSK: 60% | Star Trek: 70% | Star Trek 83+: 40% | TI-City: 5%

Offline Eeems

  • Mr. Dictator
  • Administrator
  • LV13 Extreme Addict (Next: 9001)
  • *************
  • Posts: 6265
  • Rating: +318/-36
  • little oof
    • View Profile
    • Eeems
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2009, 03:33:29 pm »
Quote from: Speler on June 14, 2009, 10:03:26 pm
Not a big fan of these kinds of jokes, but I would like to point out how much more awesome I am then Chuck Norris.  Seriously, I'm the shit.
I would start running and hiding right now
Logged
/e

Offline DJ Omnimaga

  • Clacualters are teh gr33t
  • CoT Emeritus
  • LV15 Omnimagician (Next: --)
  • *
  • Posts: 55942
  • Rating: +3154/-232
  • CodeWalrus founder & retired Omnimaga founder
    • View Profile
    • Dream of Omnimaga Music
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2009, 03:40:22 pm »
Well to be fair I myself am not too much of a fan either, as I don't understand most english jokes. Basiclaly I'm not a fan of most existing jokes unless they are in french.
Logged

Offline Drak

  • LV4 Regular (Next: 200)
  • ****
  • Posts: 118
  • Rating: +2/-16
  • The color of choice for winners.
    • View Profile
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2009, 04:59:52 pm »
Quote from: skuller972 on June 14, 2009, 10:01:48 am
Lets make a list of Chuck Norris jo

no.
Logged
+0/-1 karm for this message

Offline ralphdspam

  • LV8 Addict (Next: 1000)
  • ********
  • Posts: 841
  • Rating: +38/-1
  • My name is actually Matt.
    • View Profile
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2011, 08:20:31 pm »
Chuck Norris never makes a necropost.  He kills the post itself.  [I know it's lame]

All of Chuck Norris's genes are dominant.
Charlie Sheen is winning, but Chuck Norris already won. 
Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
Logged
ld a, 0
ld a, a

Offline Deep Toaster

  • So much to do, so much time, so little motivation
  • Administrator
  • LV13 Extreme Addict (Next: 9001)
  • *************
  • Posts: 8217
  • Rating: +758/-15
    • View Profile
    • ClrHome
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2011, 08:21:53 pm »
Chuck Norris won the Game. Twice.
Chuck Norris saw Medusa and she turned to stone.
Logged



Offline Darl181

  • «Yo buddy, you still alive?»
  • CoT Emeritus
  • LV12 Extreme Poster (Next: 5000)
  • *
  • Posts: 3408
  • Rating: +305/-13
  • VGhlIEdhbWU=
    • View Profile
    • darl181.webuda.com
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2011, 08:28:17 pm »

yay google images
« Last Edit: May 06, 2011, 08:28:33 pm by Darl181 »
Logged
Vy'o'us pleorsdti thl'e gjaemue

Offline Deep Toaster

  • So much to do, so much time, so little motivation
  • Administrator
  • LV13 Extreme Addict (Next: 9001)
  • *************
  • Posts: 8217
  • Rating: +758/-15
    • View Profile
    • ClrHome
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2011, 08:30:28 pm »
O.o

Frighteningly appropriate.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2011, 08:30:51 pm by Deep Thought »
Logged



Offline TsukasaZX

  • LV6 Super Member (Next: 500)
  • ******
  • Posts: 415
  • Rating: +46/-3
  • Never Gonna Give You Up!
    • View Profile
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2011, 08:36:52 pm »
You can't get directions to Chuck Norris from Google Maps or any other map/directions service. You don't find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.

Chuck Norris is why Waldo is hiding.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Chuck Norris knows.

When people go to bed, they check for the boogieman. When the boogieman goes to bed, he checks for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's tears are theorized as being a panacea for all known illness and disease. Sadly, Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
Logged
IRC EFNet | Nick Su-Hime | Chan #omnimaga, #unss, #cemetech
Yumé - 100% Complete!
Yumé 2: Rika's Story - 10%
 - Hiatus until summertime
Yumé: The Eternal Dreams - 50%
 - World and events
TIBiC/GO C Library - N%

"Alenda lux ubi orta libertas" - Let learning be cherished where liberty has arisen.

  ▲
▲ ▲ Triforce!

Offline Yeong

  • Not a bridge
  • LV12 Extreme Poster (Next: 5000)
  • ************
  • Posts: 3739
  • Rating: +278/-12
  • Survivor of Apocalypse
    • View Profile
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2011, 08:37:34 pm »
The math teacher asked Jim a question and Jim answered "Chuck Norris." She said no and she was to be never seen again.
Chuck Norris doesn't get wounded;He decides when to bleed.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2011, 08:38:33 pm by yeongJIN_COOL »
Logged
Sig wipe!

Offline TsukasaZX

  • LV6 Super Member (Next: 500)
  • ******
  • Posts: 415
  • Rating: +46/-3
  • Never Gonna Give You Up!
    • View Profile
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2011, 08:40:26 pm »
Originally, Chuck Norris was slated to appear in Mortal Kombat. Unfortunately, every time the user pressed any given button, all the Chuck Norris character did was roundhouse kick the opponent, never missing, and winning the entire match, regardless of health, round, or time. As such, the character was removed. Later, when asked about this bizarre bug, Norris replied "What bug?"

Why are we concerned about WMDs in other countries? Chuck Norris lives in America.
Logged
IRC EFNet | Nick Su-Hime | Chan #omnimaga, #unss, #cemetech
Yumé - 100% Complete!
Yumé 2: Rika's Story - 10%
 - Hiatus until summertime
Yumé: The Eternal Dreams - 50%
 - World and events
TIBiC/GO C Library - N%

"Alenda lux ubi orta libertas" - Let learning be cherished where liberty has arisen.

  ▲
▲ ▲ Triforce!

Offline Yeong

  • Not a bridge
  • LV12 Extreme Poster (Next: 5000)
  • ************
  • Posts: 3739
  • Rating: +278/-12
  • Survivor of Apocalypse
    • View Profile
Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2011, 08:41:52 pm »
Bermuda triangle used to be Bermuda square;Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked one island away.
Logged
Sig wipe!
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
« previous next »