Omnimaga
General Discussion => Other Discussions => Humour and Jokes => Topic started by: Matrefeytontias on November 10, 2014, 02:30:36 pm
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Today I learnt something : life is made of algorithms. I discovered one today, being a student in my own appartment :
while(oreo)
oreo--;
Did you discover things like this ?
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Oh yes, most definitely.
while(time_until_test_minutes > 240)
procrastinate;
freak_out();
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Oh yes, most definitely.
while(time_until_test_minutes > 240)
procrastinate;
freak_out();
Hey! That's my IP! :P
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Today I learnt something : life is made of algorithms. I discovered one today, being a student in my own appartment :
while(oreo)
oreo--;
Did you discover things like this ?
Assuming you mean Oreo biscuits, I think the following would be closer to reality :P
oreoPurchase := 3
oreoEaten := 0
hospital :=0
WHILE 1 DO
oreoEaten = oreoEaten + 1;
oreoPurchase = oreoPurchase ^ 2;
IF oreoEaten > 256 THEN
hospital := 1;
END;
END;
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while(1):
if(time()<0600): sleep(0400);
for task in todo:
if task.due < time(): panic()
elif task.due - time() < 200: panicdo(task)
else: sleep(0200)
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Today I learnt something : life is made of algorithms. I discovered one today, being a student in my own appartment :
while(oreo)
oreo--;
Did you discover things like this ?
Assuming you mean Oreo biscuits, I think the following would be closer to reality :P
oreoPurchase := 3
oreoEaten := 0
hospital :=0
WHILE 1 DO
oreoEaten = oreoEaten + 1;
oreoPurchase = oreoPurchase ^ 2;
IF oreoEaten > 256 THEN
hospital := 1;
END;
END;
Well... that escalated quickly ^^'
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Oh yes, most definitely.
while(time_until_test_minutes)
procrastinate;
go_to_test_unprepared_but_perfectly_cool();
Ftfy. :P
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Today I learnt something : life is made of algorithms. I discovered one today, being a student in my own appartment :
while(oreo)
oreo--;
Did you discover things like this ?
Assuming you mean Oreo biscuits, I think the following would be closer to reality :P
oreoPurchase := 3
oreoEaten := 0
hospital :=0
WHILE 1 DO
oreoEaten = oreoEaten + 1;
oreoPurchase = oreoPurchase ^ 2;
IF oreoEaten > 256 THEN
hospital := 1;
END;
END;
Well... that escalated quickly ^^'
And in HP PPL it escalates instantly. :P The speed at which ClassPad II Basic gets executed might be closer to reality.
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And in HP PPL it escalates instantly. :P The speed at which ClassPad II Basic gets executed might be closer to reality.
Lol at that one. :P
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Today I learnt something : life is made of algorithms. I discovered one today, being a student in my own appartment :
while(oreo)
oreo--;
Did you discover things like this ?
Assuming you mean Oreo biscuits, I think the following would be closer to reality :P
oreoPurchase := 3
oreoEaten := 0
hospital :=0
WHILE 1 DO
oreoEaten = oreoEaten + 1;
oreoPurchase = oreoPurchase ^ 2;
IF oreoEaten > 256 THEN
hospital := 1;
END;
END;
Y U NO USE IFTE OR MAKELIST?!?!?! OPTAMAIZE!
oreoPurchase := 3
oreoEaten := 0
hospital :=0
BEGIN f() oreoPurchase = oreoPurchase ^ 2; oreoEaten := oreoEaten+1; END;
MAKELIST(f(), O, 0, 255);
hospital := 1;
END;
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while(sorunome.isAwake()){
sorunome.beTired()
}
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#include "streetwalrus.h"
#include <life.h>
#include <time.h>
int main(void)
{
while (streetwalrus_alive)
{
day_spend(geeky_stuffs);
sleep(INSANELY_LATE_HOUR);
}
// Hopefully we don't reach this point anytime soon
return streetwalrus_age;
}
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Lbl 1
Sleep
Goto 1While it's the hour before school starts
Do homework
End
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while(pimath_is_on_computer)
checkOmnimaga();
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That moment while you really wish you got these jokes, and you kinda do, but you don't cause you can't code, and you wish you knew simple code like this.
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If I cannot code
Pretend like I can
End pretending
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void warranty()
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This needs to be inside an If storeName != Walmart block :P
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depression_points = {LIFE, SHYNESS, LIFE_CHOICES, LAZINESS, etc...}; // too many to list them.
while(has_projects_to()) {
if(has_homework_to_do()) {
if(has_important_project_to_do())
program_on_small_project(rand()%num_small_projects());
}
else
depressing_about_(depression_points, rand()%num_depression_points());
}
EDIT :oh wait that isn't humourous nor a joke... WAit...
while(it_wont_work()) {
if(rand()&1)
depress_about_it();
else
try_to_desesperatly_fix_it();
}
... Damn!
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https://www.gnu.org/fun/
'Nuff said.
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Those are great :D
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My favourite from there: https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/ed-msg.html
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#define if(x) if(rand()%10 && (x))
Happy debugging! :p
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while(oreo)
oreo--;
Looking though this again, you could optimize:
while(oreo--);
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while(pimath_is_on_computer)
checkOmnimaga();
How I decide when to go on omni most of the time :P
public void onFacebookMessageReceive(Message m)
{
if(m.sender.getNickname().equals("pimathbraniac"))
{
double num = Math.random();
if(m.body.contains("omni"))
{
if(num < 0.8)
checkOmnimaga();
}
else if(num < 0.2)
checkOmnimaga();
}
}
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True statement. Except I didn't even mention it today...
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True statement. Except I didn't even mention it today...
That's where the "else if(num < 0.2)" comes in :P
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But the frequency is a lot less than that, Mr. "I am on Chief Delphi all the time and pimath knows it"
Also We messed up with Fantasy FIRST
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On a slightly more serious note, the MiniMax algorithm also applies to real life. But in order for it to work, you have to be good at predicting consequences and reactions, and you need an objective function, so it's very hard to ever actually use it.
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while(oreo)
oreo--;
Looking though this again, you could optimize:
while(oreo--);
I think the compiler does that for you.
In both cases the outcome is:
while:
branch if oreo is zero: endwhile
oreo --
branch to while
endwhile:
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while(oreo)
oreo--;
Looking though this again, you could optimize:
while(oreo--);
I think the compiler does that for you.
In both cases the outcome is:
while:
branch if oreo is zero: endwhile
oreo --
branch to while
endwhile:
If we're talking about C/C++, I'm pretty sure they aren't equivalent: the first version only decrements oreo to 0, the second one to -1.
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Most other languages too, but you can fix it:
while(--oreo);'
You're in trouble if you start with zero though.
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Most other languages too, but you can fix it:
while(--oreo);'
You're in trouble if you start with zero though.
Derp. Thanks for the fix. :)
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Today I learnt something : life is made of algorithms. I discovered one today, being a student in my own appartment :
while(oreo)
oreo--;
Did you discover things like this ?
Sorry for necro posting, but i felt like this needed a OOP update and a small reality check: >:D :P
package Matrix.AIs.Matrefeytontias;
public class Matrefeytontias {
private OreoBox oreoBox;
public static OreoStore oreoStore;
public static void main(String... args) {
oreoStore = new OreoStore();
Matrefeytontias matrefeytontias = new Matrefeytontias();
matrefeytontias.live();
}
private void live() {
while (oreoStore.hasOreos()) {
buyOreos();
while (oreoBox.hasOreos()) {
oreoBox.eatOreos();
}
}
//die
}
private void buyOreos() {
oreoBox = oreoStore.buyBox();
}
static class OreoStore {
int boxes;
OreoStore() {
boxes = 100;
}
OreoBox buyBox() {
boxes--;
return new OreoBox();
}
boolean hasOreos() {
return boxes != 0;
}
}
static class OreoBox {
int numberOfOreos;
OreoBox() {
numberOfOreos = 50; //Correct me here please
}
void eatOreos() {
numberOfOreos--;
}
boolean hasOreos() {
return numberOfOreos != 0;
}
}
}
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Hmm, seems like too much work to just eat Oreos.
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Hmm, seems like too much work to just eat Oreos.
That was sort of the point, to laugh at OOP :P
Also I am somewhat jealous that @Matrefeytontias has an Oreo store inside of him. :P ;)
However I am a little freaked out that he has an Oreo box inside of him. O.O XD
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Don't stick inadequate things in me please.
What ? Did I say something wrong ?