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Reluctant Quadratic Solver Competition

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bb010g:
After reading though the wonder paper Pessimal Algorithms and Simplexity Analysis, I thought of a wonderful idea: a reluctant quadratic solver! I'm not very good at these things, though, so I decided to bring it out to the Omnimaga community for everyone to have a go.

Goal: Make a quadratic solver.
Constraints:
· The program must always be progressing towards the goal.
Points are awarded for:
· Inefficiency
· Novelty
· Precision
· Style
· Humor
· Choice of language

Said points will be awarded per user, with a running count in the main topic. Users are free to improve any algorithm, and will get points for the improvement accordingly. Programs can be interactive or non-interactive, but the user interaction shouldn't cause repetition.

(Note: This doesn't have to be for a language on a TI calc, but I couln't think of a better place to put it. If a mod knows where this would fit better, feel free to move it.)

Points:
Coming soon!

Juju:
Sounds fun. Can it also be obfuscated?

DJ Omnimaga:
Shouldn't this go to humors and jokes? :P

bb010g:
You can obfuscate if you want, but the main goal is inefficiency.

Streetwalrus:
DJ I don't think so. It's a nice programming challenge.
Does using a 0.0000001Hz CPU count ? :P

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