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Jokes

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necro:
I heard when Cheney was hunting he yelled "quail!"  Mos people would have yelled "duck."

Your mama is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.

Whats red and blue and screams alot?  A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

What do you call some one with no shins?  Tony.

Ever heard the one about the fencer and the trapper?  It will catch you off gaurd.

kalan_vod:
Well I guess this is a good thing you made this thread, this was just emailed to me. It's kinda long, but it is quite funny :D.

QUOTE Finally a joke that explains what it's like to be Canadian...
>> >>> >
>> >>> >Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six
>> >>> >days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the
>> >>> >seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a
>> >>> >deep sigh
>> >>>of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the
>> >>> >clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked
>> >>> >puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've
>> >>> >put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place
>> >>> >of great balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God
>> >>> >explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern
>> >>> >Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern
>> >>> >Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot
>> >>> >spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there
>> >>> >is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different
>> >>> >countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will
>> >>> >be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed
>> >>>by Gods work,
>> >>> >then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's
>> >>> >that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on
>> >>> >Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an
>> >>> >exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest,
>> >>> >intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the
>> >>> >world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving,
>> >>> >and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers
>> >>>of
>> >>> >peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey
>> >>> >players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."
>> >>> >Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What
>> >>>about
>> >>> >balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely.
>> >>>"Wait
>> >>> >until you see the
>> >>>loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

rivereye:
sounds like the Michigan UP joke against the lower pensullia, too bad I am a troll though (those who live south of Mackinack Bridge)

CDI:
that is awsome :)

arti:

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